Theresa Santoro

Prior to having children, I worked in the Airline Industry, and Retail Clothing Industry, while attending college. Today, I am a stay at home mom. I have worked over the years, but always from home. I have worked in my own businesses in the domestic arts as a caterer, floral designer, party planner and photographer. As previously mentioned, my first job was as a nanny. I was very fortunate, as I always worked from home with my children in tow. Many a time it would have been easier to have outside help, because I pulled many an all night working frenzy to complete my tasks. I was young and I could do it, easily. This choice is what has worked for my husband and me. As a professional nanny, I would have been foolish to hire someone else to raise my children. I was the obvious choice. A choice I have never regretted once. It worked for my family, and it continues to work today. I am a professional mother. I take my job as seriously as if I were running a Fortune 500 company. I expect excellence from my children and they know it. I volunteer with excellence and I live my life with excellence. Just as if I worked outside the home.

Conversely to my life, my client Mary Beth is a doctor. Mary Beth is the daughter of a physician, and knew always that she would follow in her father's footsteps. She excelled in school, and is now an Internist. Mary Beth's husband is an airline pilot. Their life is hectic and busy, but both mother and father are fulfilled professionally.

Mary Beth and Tony have two beautiful children. They are modern day parents, both working and juggling the family. There is no room for guilt. NONE! I have coached Mary Beth into guilt free parenting. When Mary Beth had her first child, she was torn, as she really did not want to give up her practice. She knew how I felt about staying home, and came to me for help. Here is what Mary Beth and I worked on.

Mary Beth knew that she would not be happy staying home. She knew she needed adult interaction and that she would not be an effective caregiver to her child. O.K., I am not going to lie. Mary Beth was not that enlightened! I am giving you the short version. We had to coax the truth out from deep down. I am big on truth, and have little patience for guilt! Mary Beth thought she was missing a special "stay at home mom" gene. She should want to nurture her children and stay at home. After all, her patients marveled at her compassion. As we worked together, we realized that there was no better time in history, to be a working mother. The reason is that Dad's have come a long, long way! Men know that if they want or expect their wives to continue working, they will have to pick up some of the slack. Even the professional Dad has come on board to this way of thinking. Oh, don't get me wrong, women still do the lion's share of the domestic work, but men are actually helping with the kids more and more. Some of the very best parents I know are fathers!

As we worked together, Mary Beth and I weighed many factors. Would their budget allow for her to stay home full time? No. They had a mortgage that required two incomes. Plus, her husbands job was not as secure as hers. What about cutting hours? If they budgeted better, she could curb some of her time. What about committee work? Although important to career advancement, it turned out that was something that we could easily delete. Career advancement was not her goal at the moment. She really did not care to be Chief of anything at this point in her career. Suddenly, just like that pressure was released and Mary Beth started to feel much better about her choice as a working mom. She would cut down to four days a week and not serve on any hospital committees. In addition, she realized that Tony could take up some of the parenting slack when he was home. Tony was only too happy to oblige. It is really the little pockets of time that can be cut back to release pressure we put on our family and ourselves.

Although we were able to remove the word guilt from Mary Beth's vocabulary, our work was not finished. Continue reading to find out how to hire the right help.