Theresa Santoro

I asked my eldest recently why she and her sister were such good friends. Her first remark right out of the gate was "you made us". " O.K., "make" is pretty harsh, but you did set the stage. You told us we had to be nice to each other. We just ended up liking each other." I asked Alexandra, and her reply was "why not?" "I totally love my family!"

Life as a single child changed the day Alexandra was born. Fifteen month old Ariana was no longer the only child. She now had a companion. We encouraged closeness from the very first day.

We told Ariana from the start that this was her baby. Her baby sister to love. It was not always easy. Ariana has the personality of the first born. Life is all about Ariana, and only Ariana. Alexandra tends to be more accommodating. She will often let her sister have her way, just too keep peace. Or so it would seem.

Actually like any non-sibling relationship, they have fostered a relationship that works for them. They share a room, and always have. I am a proponent of shared rooms. I always believe it is in the quiet of the night you share your secrets. your hopes. and your dreams. Ariana is messier and the grumpier of the two. Alexandra is the happier go lucky of the two, but when the bad mood strikes, clear out of the way! Ariana wears her emotions on her sleeve. Alexandra keeps it bottled inside. When the two are together, they just "get" one another. They have learned a valuable lesson that will carry them through life. Having a roommate is tough! They will have a roommate in college, and hopefully a lifelong roommate in adulthood referred to as the "husband".

We have ground rules that have made the path to friendship easier. No name-calling. I believe the first time you allow kids to call each other ugly vile names like "butt face", "snot nose", and the like, you set the stage for a tempestuous relationship. No name calling right from the start.

When they fight, unless it gets ugly, stay out of it! Ariana went on to explain to me that their relationship is not perfect, but they count on each other. They know that more than anyone else in the world; their sibling has their back. She told me that if they fight, they are over it almost immediately and they are on to the next task.

Siblings as friends. It is a beautiful thing!