Theresa Santoro

Are you a helicopter mom or dad? If your children are past the age of diapers, then I am clearing you to land the helicopter, and start allowing your children to wake up and be accountable.

I think this generation of children blame us more than we blamed our own parents (if at all possible). As helicopter parents, we have controlled so much of their destiny, that they are hard pressed to take control of the wheel, and just fly.

They seek our approval, and then don't want our approval. They want our opinion, and then hate our opinion. They want wings to fly, and then they want their wings slightly clipped so that they can stay and be nurtured.

Both of my daughters in college are always on the verge of tears. Ready to turn on the waterworks at any given moment. If you look at either one crooked, they bursts into tears. Why? What is so tough?

What is so tough is that they go to school with a bunch of kids that were raised by helicopter hovering parents. Unable to fully cope on their own, these kids rely on one another for life vests and oxygen masks. Queen Bees and Kingpins take over, and decide for our grown kids what websites are hip. What politics you should believe in. Who is the end all be all of the moment. What is a good movie, bad movie, good book, bad book. They rob your child of any trace of core values that you have instilled. If you are religious, they find atheism. If you are an atheist, they find religion. You can't win. It is a new kind of rebellion.

"Hey mom! Stay out of my life ! But um' can you do my laundry, and can I use your house for a party? Oh and I need spending money, and my cell phone bill is due. "

You may have done everything right. Nightime dinners around the table. Involvement in school. Sports shuttle. Music lessons. Safe house where all of the kids can come over to unlimited snacks for all.

In the interest of a "cush" painfree life, did we do too much? As days go by and I land my helicopter, I will be revisiting this topic often.

Clear to Land!
Happy Parenting!