Theresa Santoro

Who among us did not have the fantasy that when our little bundle of joy entered the world, that he or she would be the most perfect specimen to enter the atmosphere?

Plans were set at unreachable heights. You would breastfeed for one solid year, and your diet would reflect the needs to nourish your child. Coffee? Cola? Wine? Would not cross your lips! The crib, the toys, the car seat would be the best that any manufacturer had to offer. Your little bundle of joy would sleep through the night at 4weeks, and never ever show any public display of emotion beyond a cute cherubic smile, to which everyone would applaud.

The bundle arrives; the hospital waits on you hand and foot, and then sends you on your way. You have stitches in places that stitches should never be, and your breasts feel so tender that just looking at them in the mirror causes you to wince in pain. The baby cries at various hours. Poop filled diapers, and spit up smeared clothes become a topic of dinner conversation.

I can go on for days, but those of you that are parents know the drill. Perfection it is not. In the absence of perfection, how does one achieve excellence in parenting? My best advice? Assemble the village. Not a fake village that will buy your bullsh't stories of the most perfect child on the planet, but the village you can call when it all falls apart, and you are at a loss. The village that is willing to board up your windows when the parenting hurricane hits. I have always had a village around me. When my first two were little, my neighbors who were by then retired, loved to take them off of my hands for an hour or two. One "surrogate grandma" would even grab a load or two of laundry to do for me. NICE!

My gift to you? A few of my favorite tried and true...

Can't bear to get out of bed to take care of 4 children under five today? Have a slumber party in your bed! You can even leave the answering machine on to take your calls. No kidding. Jammie day. PBS kid shows or movies on DVD. Breakfast in bed, and don't forget the leak proof sippy cups! Will the world come to an end? Nope... Tomorrow, you will be ready to take on the day, and your wee ones will hold a memory of the day they had a slumber party in mommy and daddy's bed! Whohoo!

Too much laundry to conquer? Every time you try, the pile grows? Local Laundromat. Really! Think of it as stimulating the economy and someone's small business. You can do 10+ loads in two hours! Brilliant. And I know, like me you will make the promise to not let the pile grow that big again!

Too tired to make dinner? This one is so fast, you will surprise yourself! Bag of Cheese or spinach ravioli. Layer with pasta sauce (use your favorite brand and flavor), and mozzarella cheese. Cover with foil, and place in the oven at 350 for 30 minutes. Grab a loaf of French bread, rinse a bag of pre-cut salad, and VOILA! Gourmet Lasagna! No muss, no fuss, one pan, and oh soooooooooo yummo!

Can't do the daily make-up? That is ok... Moisturizer goes a long way to make you look good! Brush your teeth, moisturize, use some Burt's Bees tinted lip-gloss, and throw on sneaks, and decent fitting sweats, and Wowowow! Ready to face the world.

This is real parenting advice for every single day. No bitching, no complaining... just the sheer joy that comes with the blessings that children bring!

Mothering Excellence™ will be a regular feature, so check back often!

Happy Parenting!