Theresa Santoro

To no surprise of most, Jon and Kate Gosselin announced their separation on their semi-popular reality show Jon&Kate plus 8 last night. They said "we have decided to separate..." Well, actually, they have decided to divorce, as Mrs. Gosselin filed papers on the same day to dissolve the marital union.

As I was doing my research on this, I came across another couple that have called it quits. Jane Kaczmarek and Bradley Whitford, a Hollywood power couple calling the whole thing off after three kids and 16 years of marriage.

You just never know what to believe when you are watching the ole tube... It seemed as if the Kaczmarek-Whitford's were the perfect Hollywood couple, destined to last a lifetime. They spoke of mutual mid-western values, the importance of family, the balance of career and home life. Always arm locked and close, with witty remarks on the red carpet.

I bought it. I was dooped!

On the other hand, the split between Jon and Kate came as no surprise. And this thought was long before the alleged affairs.

The first time I saw Jon&Kate plus 8, was when they went to Toys R Us for Christmas shopping. Two young children, and six toddlers in tow, they clamber into the huge van and make the trek to the worlds greatest toy store. The audience is then treated to a screaming Kate tirade, as she publicly castrates her husband for everything he does wrong.

Note to Kate: Never ever take one husband and eight children to Toys R Us, no matter how much fun the producers say it will be!

I watched the show again that season, but the constant belittling of Jon just rubbed me the wrong way. Kate, the control freak was not my idea of a relaxing hour of TV! So, I moved on.

A year or two later, I caught the show again. This time they have moved into a McMansion on property the size of which is never seen here in Southern California. Kate decides it best to say what a mess the place is, and never in her life has she seen such filth. She must scrub the kitchen head to toe. NOW!

Note to the Producers: If a show has no substance, and the real life is rather boring, scrub it. Not worth the digital film it sits on.

Fast forward to Jon buying some fifty dollars worth of supplies at Home Depot, and forgetting to use a coupon! Are you flipping kidding me? She goes on a tirade and is going to kill him for not using a coupon! Really?

Ladies...May I have a show of hands of how many of you would still be alive if you publically took down your man for not using a coupon in front of say... six million viewers? Anyone? Every time I caught the show, the kids were dressed identically, and you see rows and rows upon shoes. Coupons aside, I wonder if Kate has any idea how much money she would save by not buying matching clothes. They wear the same size. Boys share with boys...Girls share with girls. Saves a boatload. But I digress.

From the first time I saw this show, I felt it just a matter of time before it came to a head. I am sad that this is what it came to. Sad for the children.

Jon and Kate both say they will be nice and civil for the kids. Really? Civility now? Did you know a little secret to staying married, is to be civil during the marriage? Fame tastes good. Free stuff shows up at your door. Free vacations are thrown at you. Oprah invites you on the show. Life in the light is good. But then the lights go out. The cameras go home, and you are back to normal. Laundry piles up, the kids get sick, and the snow covers the ground. And well, life gets boring. Raising 8 kids is hard. Raising 3 kids is hard. The thing about the famous is that they become accustomed to the accolades, the love fest, and the cheers. But like an alcoholic, if they can't get the next drink right away, they suffer. They go into withdrawals. Because this is the day that no one said you were wonderful.

For the Whitford's, I can only assume, the pressures of life and Hollywood took its toll. But who knows. Maybe the laughter on the red carpet, was just polite, and at home they could not sit in the same room. Who knows? I can only imagine for Kate what it was like when the cameras went off, and no one was there to cheer her on for being "super" mom.

Note to Kate: The production team is paid to think you walk on water. They need their job as much as you need yours.

At the end of the day, I believe nearly any marriage can be saved. I have saved mine many times. Married 26 years this August, you go up, you go down. You hit the highest of highs, and lowest of lows. To think otherwise is ridiculous.

Stay tuned for part two: Can This Marriage in Reality T.V. land be saved?