Theresa Santoro

It is the most common reason for divorce. They split citing irreconcilable differences. It just feels like we all give up too easy. Every marriage that makes it to the long haul has irreconcilable differences. Battles you just can't win, but agree to disagree, and hope the topic doesn't keep surfacing!

Back in our grandparents' day, irreconcilable differences were less likely to break up their marriage. They had to get through the thick and thin of it. The good, the bad, the sick, the poor. They took the vows literally. They survived much more than we could even fathom. They lived with family "dirty laundry", infidelity, alcoholism, etc. They just stuck it out. Because in reality nothing lasts forever. The good times pass just like the bad times. Ebbs and flows...

Money comes into play for many, as they just can't afford separate lifestyles, so they stick it out, and survive, and even thrive. Conversely, if you are flush with cash, it is easy to just call the whole thing off, and live separate lives. Look at celebrities and the uuber wealthy.

I promised I would address the impending divorce of Jon and Kate Gosselin. Famous for their reality show Jon and Kate plus 8. The current "rags" say that after just one month since the divorce papers were filed, Jon is already engaged to someone else. And therein lies the problem.

The constant media scrutiny and coverage to the point that it would be impossible to decipher what is real or not real. I am going to step aside from what is in the papers, and just go with my own opinion of what I saw. When the show first aired, I caught an episode, and as I mentioned in the previous article, was horrified at the way Kate spoke to her husband on national television. These were not hidden cameras. A crew filmed while she took pot shots at the expense of her marriage.

Any expert in the field of marriage counseling would tell us that this is passive aggressive behavior magnified. At best it was uncomfortable to witness, and at worst it was a permanent record of a family life going down a black hole fast!

I caught a few more shows, and what I saw was an ego-maniac named Kate that is better than just about anyone on the planet. She let viewers know that she was such a clean freak, no one could compare. In one episode, she claimed that the potential housekeeper did not even catch the dirt/dust/clutter behind the kids' toy shelf. Hmmmmmmmmmmm??? If she is such a clean freak, why was the dirt even there? Only Kate could handle the kitchen, but in one episode, her husband gleefully put together a Korean family dinner. The show became the Kate hour, where whatever product she mentioned would show up on her doorstep. The move in the new house episode that had viewers witness as Kate stood at the kitchen sink in front of her palatial new home, and she "Price is right" swoops her arm across the window and comments "It is mine...all mine..." ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Meanwhile, every single time Jon came into scene she berated him for something. Something she perceived he did wrong. ON NATIONAL TELEVISION! A public castration of her husband! ewwwwwwwwwww!

Note to Kate: If your husband is breathing, and appears to have cash, plenty of woman are standing by to love him proper! I imagine the fan mail to him was quite specific to this...

I never witnessed Jon putting down Kate. But I was not a regular viewer. Perhaps I missed something.

As seasons went by, we saw a makeover transformation of Kate. Jon pretty much stayed the same. I am thinking this was reality television planned. Because although a frumpy mother of 8 gone smoking hot, is interesting, a dad of 8 made over is undeserving in the eyes of the viewer. After all, I am pretty sure the primary demographics are women. My own husband made a snarky comment every time I watched it!

Here is the thing about this type of reality television. In real life, 8 kids every single day is routine, and can be boring. I know, I am one of eleven. Daily routine is just that. Routine.

In order to go from boring to watchable, we had to make this family marketable. Match outfits, shoes galore, product galore, and exotic, expensive field trips. Planes, trains, and automobiles. The fame hit the fan, and it was fun! Fun, fun, fun. We all know an iT guy and R.N. could not afford this lifestlye with 8 children. In real life this just would not go on. The house would stay small, and the lifestyle would be survival mode.

Less than a year ago, this family went to Hawaii to renew marriage vows. Hawaii! Crew, family of ten, extras, etc... Cha-ching!

WHAT? Ten year renewal less than a year ago? If that doesn't tell you reality television is not real, nothing will!

On television, or in the neighborhood, only the two that are going through the split know the whole story. The answer remains...Can a marriage gone out of control be saved? I think it can.

To Be Continued...