Theresa Santoro

Authoritative

adj 1: having authority or ascendancy or influence; "an important official"; "the captain's authoritative manner"

Authoritative Parenting

With the different types of parenting I have mentioned, the goal to aim for is that of an authoritative parent.

Eileen is an authoritative parent. She is neither friend nor foe to her children. A stay at home mom by choice, Eileen has the bulk of the parenting responsibility while her husband Mike supports the family.

Eileen is controlling with her children, but she explains why she is doing what she is doing along the way. She is firm, demanding and consistent. Her children are rarely confused with her parenting techniques. Yes mean yes, and no definitely means no. Eileen leaves the door to communication open. She discusses everything with her children, from peer pressure, to drugs, to sex. She and Mike stand together in raising the children. The house is full of love and laughter, and the kids are comfortable in their own skin. They have a family culture all there own and are proud of their family identity.

Eileen tells the children what she expects of them before they reach any destination, so that there are no surprises. She tells them who, what, where, when, why, and how. She explains who they will see, and what they are expected to do when they get there. She tells them where they are going, and when they will arrive, and when they will leave. She further goes on to explain as to why they are going, and most importantly, how they are expected to behave. She uses this technique for most situations from a simple grocery store outing to church outings, and even to family weddings, or sadly funerals. The children are never confused and they are able to prepare themselves before they arrive. This method even works for the two year old in the family!

Shannon is the oldest of the children and is often the most vocal. Eileen respects that each of her children are different in personality, and adjusts her parenting to each individual child. Shannon often talks back, and although Shannon is allowed to disagree, she is not allowed to be disrespectful. Her mother is firm in this and is consistent in her response. Shannon is also extremely bright, and her mother appreciates this gift by often asking for Shannon's input in discussion. Eileen is willing to change her mind on some issues, providing Shannon presents her case in a calm and mature way.

Eileen has high standards and expectations for her children. She insists the children be polite and compassionate. She teaches them to think of others. Her kids go to school prepared to learn. They know to respect their teachers, but they also know that if a problem arises, their mom and dad will be champions for them to set things straight. They also know their parents will hold them accountable if they are at fault. No surprises in this family. Eileen and Mike are raising adults. They are shaping the future. They are giving their children the greatest gift. They are giving their children roots and wings.

Are you an Authoritative parent?